Episode 216 – Advocating for Yourself with Taylor Santos

You are tuned into the Jackson hole, connection, sharing, fascinating stories of people connected to Jackson Hole.

I am truly grateful for each of you for tuning in today and support for this podcast comes from:

Learning and reading is really important to me, and I'm gonna share a little quote with you today that I just recently found.

I think it's applicable to today's topic, the quote is, it's your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life story will develop.

That's from Dier f Porf.

You are listening to episode number 216, and my guest today is a brave up and coming individual.

Taylor Santos.

I recently met Taylor at a Rotary club meeting.

She was receiving an award, and I'm not gonna reveal much about Taylor's story here in the introduction because I want you to hear directly from her.

I'm very grateful to have met Taylor and that she was willing to come onto this podcast and share her story with you.

I hope you learn from Taylor today and that you can find a way to help others in your community, because remember, what you see from your point of view may not be what is really actually happening to the person you're viewing or communicating with.

So here's Taylor San.

Taylor.

Thank you for joining me today here at the Jackson Hole Connection.

I am inspired and delighted to have you as a guest.

Thank you so much for having me.

it's an honor to be here.

This is a big opportunity for me.

Well, you recently were awarded, a student of the quarter or of the month through the school that you attend and the story that you shared.

Was very emotional, very real.

And afterwards I felt as though having an opportunity for you to share your story, in a little bit more depth, would be good for a lot of people, to hear the reality of what some people, go through in life.

So Taylor, let's start off with why don't you share.

With people that are listening in today, where were you born and where were you raised, but also tell them what is your age?

All right, so I was born and raised in Jackson, Wyoming.

I haven't lived anywhere else, and I am currently 18 years old.

Okay.

And.

What school are you attending right now?

I am a senior at Summit Innovations High School.

And would you like to describe what Summit Innovations High School is for so people have an understanding?

Yeah,

so Summit is the alternative school.

It's completely free, but.

Has a different way of teaching.

It's more students and teachers, like you have a more personal connection with everyone.

It feels a lot like a family, which is really unique and cool.

And do you know how many students are at Summit Innovations?

There might be like 50 kids right now.

And that includes some kids who come over from the high school as.

some students are some classes at Summit and then the rest at the high school to where some students are all classes at Summit, correct?

Exactly.

Yeah.

Okay.

So you were born here, you're 18, you're an adult now.

Yep.

And, what has it been like for you growing up here in Jackson?

it's been difficult.

I've always, when I was with my parents, we lived in a trailer.

We were definitely lower class.

I was lucky enough to never be low on food or anything like that growing up, but

I guess my family life wasn't the easiest.

There was a lot of fighting and like, Screaming every night, and that made it hard to really thrive in Jackson.

it seems like not a lot of people would wanna help, or like the few times I did ask for help, I wasn't getting what I needed, if that makes sense.

It, it does.

Who were you asking for help from

there have been times where like cops have been involved and it seemed like they never really looked at the issues that were going on.

. Even talking to like my grandparents who live just down the road, they never really helped much with my home life.

I did spend about eight months in the Van Black group home, and even though I got help there, my family didn't really get help.

So going back home was, Going back home to the bad place I left.

Even though I had changed, nobody else did.

hey Lord, do you have any siblings?

I do.

I have one younger sibling.

She is 10 years younger than me.

And what's going on with her now?

she still lives with my parents, my mom and my stepdad, her dad.

yeah.

And when you were able to get help from VanEck house, Do you want to share what transpired that, opened the doors to the van Black House?

Yeah, so, when I was 12, I actually ran away from home with an older man, and from there I directly went to Van Black and I got the help I needed and, it just really changed me being there.

It felt like a real home that I got to stay at I got support there.

yeah.

And why weren't you able to stay at Van Black longer?

I had completed the program, so I graduated.

They thought I was ready.

I thought I was ready to to go back home.

And then when you went back home, what was the reality of being ready

and.

even though I put in all this hard work on how to manage like my anger and, you know, my relationship with my parents and how I talked to my mom and all that, it still wasn't enough for them.

And so when I went back home, it was, I immediately felt like I was a disappointment again and I wasn't good enough.

And all my hard work kind of was for nothing.

, which was rough.

the screaming was still going on.

The fights.

That's gotta be tough to be in a household where that's the way communication happens is screaming and yelling and.

Always having a, a fight, an argument versus let's talk.

Yeah, exactly.

And how long did you last at your, with your parents after going back?

after going back, I was there.

Maybe for a few months.

And they kicked me out and I went to live with my grandparents, which were in the same neighborhood.

Was it a, was that a better situation?

Kind of.

my grandpa has very,

Unique or extreme.

I don't almost extremist beliefs like very different from mine.

so when I went there, I was on like antidepressants and all of that fun stuff and I got taken off my meds cold Turkey.

And at the time my grandma wasn't there it was just hard to connect with him and talk to him about why I'm there.

yeah, what I can think of for that.

yeah.

so this is preteens and to early teens.

Mm-hmm.

Did you ever have a place that you could go that felt safe and as though that you were welcomed and wanted and that you would try to spend more time?

not really.

Mm, After Van Black, I'd go there a lot and, you know, hang out with the staff and residents after like, counseling, cuz I'd still see the counselor over there.

it was hard to hang out with friends just cuz I, I was embarrassed of my family and I didn't want anyone to come to my house and, Anything.

and I also wouldn't go out a lot, which didn't help.

And where are you with, I mean, you're openly sharing this story now, so the embarrassment level is.

Probably a lot lower or non-existent.

I don't wanna put words in your mouth mm-hmm.

, but how are you able at this time to now share what you've gone through to where you don't see yourself as an embarrassment or that it shouldn't be hidden?

I guess it, it took me a while to realize, but it wasn't my fault and I didn't deserve.

The stuff that I was going through, which took a lot to realize and it was really painful.

But, kind of just having to tell myself like, none of this was really my fault.

I did everything I could.

and I found how to speak up for myself, which was something I wasn't ever able to do as a kid in that house.

, I could never speak back or, try to explain why I did something wrong, which

is weird.

Hmm.

So you said you've learned how to speak up for yourself.

Yeah.

What happened when you started learning how to speak up for yourself?

a lot of good came out of it.

I got out of the house.

I was able to live on my own and ask for the help that I needed and actually get that help, which helped me tremendously.

yeah.

And when you started speaking up for yourself and realizing it's not your fault and.

You were able to leave home and find a different place to live.

How old were you when you left home?

Because I'm, When you say leave home, you were no longer with your grandparents either, correct?

Yeah.

okay.

So a week after sophomore year ended, My grandma was outta town.

It was just me and my grandpa, and I'm not really gonna get into why I was kicked out, cuz it wasn't, I didn't do anything wrong this time.

It was something against his own beliefs and he wanted me to read an ideological book on freedom.

And it was like 300, 400 pages.

And if I didn't read it, I'd have to leave.

And so I left and I was 16 at the time.

And where'd you go?

I talked to my boss earlier that day and explained what was going on, and she had employee housing with a bunch of other girls who were working for her, so I went and stayed with them for about a week.

And then what, it didn't really work out there since I was so young.

Everyone else was older than me and I don't know if that made them uncomfortable having me around, but they were asking me when I was leaving and so I left and I went to go stay at my best friend's house.

however, Most of the summer I was camping, not because I didn't feel safe or comfortable at my friend's house, just because it, it worked for me, I guess.

Mm-hmm.

So you're 16 and out on your.

You're working?

Yeah.

Are you going to school regularly

or is this summertime?

this is summertime.

So I'm, I was just working

mm-hmm.

and then when summer was over and no more camping than what,

then I was lucky enough, my boss had a little apartment for about a.

And I was able to stay there.

And that was my first time really living alone.

Alone.

Mm-hmm.

so that was a little rough.

And then from there I went to my mom's old friend's house.

she kind of became my friend through everything.

Mm-hmm.

and I stayed there for quite a few months.

Well through January I think, and after that I tried to go back home and live with my mom and my stepdad again.

Mm-hmm.

I was there for

one night before me and my stepdad got into our first, I guess, bickering.

and by the second night he threw me on the ground and he was drunk and we got into a fight and, my mom actually took me and my little sister to the women's shelter the next day and we all stayed there for about a month.

Mm-hmm.

. And then she took my sister back home.

And they're still there.

So from there I stayed at a cabin that my teacher helped me find for about a month.

it was really just a lot of in between, going between different houses, between like my friend's house and whatever I could find.

and then I got lucky enough to find the place I'm at now, which is more stable.

I get to pay rent, which is nice.

just knowing that I'm not gonna have to find a somewhere to live next week.

I'm not gonna have to look for where I'm gonna sleep.

I'm happy to hear that you found something stable and.

Secure.

Yeah.

And you have some at some at high school.

Yeah, and I, yeah.

I can't even describe how much they've helped me through this.

It's, it's been amazing.

You're, you're very courageous to share your.

Your experience and your your story here today.

Thank you.

And how many other students here in town do you think are going through what you have gone through and are going through right now?

I think it's way more common of a issue than we'd like to see.

Personally, I know a few people who also are minors and are having to live on their own or having to stay at friends' houses, and it's a harsh reality and it sucks to hear about and see.

Hmm.

Do you offer support to those students?

Yeah.

connect

with them.

I try, at least with the ones I'm close to, and I know, I give them as much support and advice as I can.

Mm-hmm.

, uh, they saw me go through it and it, it made it so they knew it was possible and, Might have gave them the courage to work harder and accept that they can do it on them on their own.

Mm-hmm.

, if that makes

sense.

It does.

And Summit High School has been a game changer for you and are you still have access to, To support to having a counselor?

right now, not, I'm not sure.

I haven't talked to my counselor in a while.

Mm-hmm.

, but I'm thinking of talking to a new one or something, so, mm-hmm.

. Stephan Abrams: Well, when you went from being a minor to being an adult Yeah.

Did the resources change for you?

Yeah, I think so.

I was seeing someone through Van Black.

Mm-hmm.

so

yeah.

Were they able to help you transition from receiving services from them to receiving services as an adult?

not yet.

I also haven't asked or advocated on that one.

Mm.

Yeah.

So you just said something Advocat.

What have you learned about advocation for yourself?

it, it was scary.

It's scary, this thing that I can do, but also it's really powerful and you can get a lot out of it.

It's once you learn what you actually need, it's easy to say that.

It always just makes me feel better and accomplished versus what?

Versus before I was suppressed and I never shared anything.

everything was a big secret.

Even my own emotions to myself.

Mm-hmm.

. I never let myself feel that.

Do you have an outlet of how you.

Share your emotions and your feelings, your thoughts.

Yeah, so I write poetry a lot and I draw or paint kind of whatever I can do.

Creativity.

Creativity.

That word creatively.

Yes.

Oh, I'm the king of messing up words, . So don't you worry.

It happens.

It, it does happen.

I totally mess up words.

what a big relief to maybe a way to feel free.

Yeah.

Not that the issues go away, but you're not, you're not just anchored down by them.

Exactly.

Cause you can own it, but still share it.

and you said you don't know where you would be today without Summit High School?

Yeah, I'm, I don't,

would you mind sharing a little bit of depth what Summit High School has done for you compared to if you were just attending?

Jackson Hole High School.

And for some people who are listening, they're very familiar with Summit and Jackson Hole High School cuz they live here.

But for some people they live in larger cities or in, in another country.

And granted, Jackson's a beautiful place and you hear how magnificent it is, but there's real stuff that's happening.

Where do you think you would be today if you had had to attend Jackson Hole High School versus

Summit?

I definitely wouldn't have any passion for growing plants and rigid of agriculture, which is my number one goal in life now.

I also wouldn't have the connection I do with my teachers, They're really like best friends to me.

they teach beyond just the books and beyond, like the lessons they add in whatever, whatever the class is interested in, they'll tailor it to the student, which I think is really cool.

There's just an insane amount of care that everyone has here for each other.

It's like a close community, which is awesome.

Wow.

I'm, I'm very grateful that our community recognizes the need to have a campus, such as some of its.

Innovations.

Yeah.

And that you found that campus to help you?

Who turned you onto Summit?

I don't really know.

I just, from middle school I was scared of the big high school and I didn't wanna be around everyone.

So, I took a tour here and it seemed like it would, would work

for me.

Okay.

That's, Yeah.

Hey Taylor.

We're gonna take a break to get a word from our sponsors, and then I want to hear more about your regenerative, agriculture that you're thinking about.

Taylor, welcome back you are sharing, yourself today.

And I am so grateful for you and hearing your story encourages me to be a better person and be more aware of what's going on in our c.

And now you are an adult and you're attending Summit Innovations High School and they're, they've helped you realize that there's a future and to figure out what is next for Taylor.

Yeah.

And you've discussed regenerative agriculture.

Would you like to describe what that, what regenerative agriculture is to people

Yeah.

So, regenerative agriculture is farming or planning your food in a way that,

Returns the earth back to like a self-sustainable forest.

So I will be planning my crops and years from now I'm not gonna have to deal with them.

They're gonna be fully self-sustainable and I'm not taking away from the land I'm giving back.

It's a pretty cool process.

Yeah.

How did you learn about regenerative agriculture and why does it speak to you?

Why, why is it called to you?

my teacher here, he science teacher, has a agriculture class and that's kind of where I first discovered plants and all of that fun stuff.

But once we got into.

Different agriculture, like sustainable agriculture versus regenerative.

it kind of just really opened my my eyes to we plant food and we don't pay any attention to the soil that we're planting it in, and we're killing off the soil and killing off the things that we do need, like, Need weeds, we need other crops other than, you know, just corn or just potatoes in a field.

it just really changed my thoughts on the world and how we

should eat.

So, You're interested in regenerative agriculture, you, you're taking a class on it and a multitude of classes, I'm sure.

have you identified some places where some place or places that you want to go to begin this process of learning regenerative agriculture?

Yeah, so, actually right now I'm doing a class with.

The college, and I'm getting my master garden certificate before I graduate.

And then after I graduate, I'm planning on moving to Dexter, Oregon and there there's a permaculture class and it's called Lost Valley Educations.

And so I hope to go there, get my certificate, and then work from

there.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

You've got a plan.

I do.

How does that feel to, to know that you've thought out what, where you want to go next, and you're right now, every day working towards that?

it's a relief.

but I'm also really proud of myself.

I bet there's a lot of other people who are proud of you too.

Yeah.

You've had a difficult journey to be where you are.

It could have gone a different direction.

Yeah.

Have you ever thought about where you could be and where your life could be if, if you hadn't taken a different path?

yeah, for sure.

but also I then have to remind myself that I wouldn't be here and.

I like where I'm at now and I like what my future looks like, and I don't think that would be the same if I wasn't faced with the challenges I was faced with.

I wouldn't appreciate where I am as much as I do now.

Mm-hmm.

I heard once from.

Somebody was asked a question, and you probably heard this question before, that if there was any one thing that you could have changed in your life, what would it have been?

And the individual answered by saying nothing because I wouldn't be who I am today.

Yeah.

If life had not been what it was.

Yeah.

In the past it's, but it's now up to me to determine.

What I do today and each day in the future, which will determine where my life goes.

Yep.

I thought it was a, a beautiful way to look at life.

not to look at what we've done wrong or what's happened to us, but that now going forward we can take, each individual can take action to make life what we desire it to.

Yeah,

I like that.

That's perfect,

And so you're gonna graduate, this fall, or are you graduating in the spring?

I'm gonna graduate in the spring.

In the spring?

Yeah.

Okay.

And you're still working right?

Yep.

well, currently I'm off, I was working at the Playhouse, so seasonal closing, but yeah.

Did you find additional work or you're just focusing on school and enjoy being an 18

year old?

I'm gonna take the month off at least just to breathe.

calm down and then I'll probably start up again in.

. Stephan Abrams: Excellent.

Yeah.

how do you feel after talking

today?

I feel good.

it was less scary than I was expecting, , but it was also good to get things out.

Mm-hmm.

and when?

You look at the future of what's gonna happen next, or, you, you spoke about at Rotary last week and how it's, you know, this is, this is you and the beauty of agriculture and, and what it'll bring.

What's your dream for the future?

What do you want?

My dream, really just have a small little house, small little life, but also have my forest and my backyard and be.

Self sustain, but also self-loving.

I wanna spread happiness, and if that's through my garden, then that's perfect.

I wanna just make sure that I touch people and I can teach people.

How to farm and how to get through obstacles.

yeah.

Well, Taylor.

I truly believe that if that you will accomplish what your dreams are, and what you've set out to accomplish.

And I do know that there will be ups and downs in life going forward as well.

There's gonna be more challenges ahead of you, and sometimes you'll feel as though, why me?

Why can't ever just be perfect.

Not keep having this stuff happen to me.

it's not you, it's just, it's just life.

But with what the, you have learned in such a young age, you'll reach your, your dreams.

For sure.

Thank you.

That's really

sweet.

And you're a very courageous individual human being and.

I hope more people can learn from you the beauty that you see for the rest of the world of how you want to just touch people and teach happiness and, have your little place and be able to make a difference.

Thank you.

You, you will make a difference in the right ways and.

. Other people can learn from you.

I know they will.

Thank you.

Thank you for joining me today, Taylor.

Thank you for having me.

I know that you will see great successes moving forward.

Thank you so much.

To learn more about Taylor and her life's journey, visit the Jackson Hole Connection, episode number 216.

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Thank you for listening, power, listening to all these episodes, and I appreciate you sharing your time with me today.